Pattaya

I traveled 2 hours south of Bangkok a couple of days ago to the beach city of Pattaya.  Pattaya became famous during the days of the Vietnam war when US military personnel would come there for R and R.  Not surprisingly the sex industry flourished and continues to do so today.  I only mention this to preface the following report of what I believe is the best TV commercial I have ever seen.  I will attempt to recreate best I can.
The scene is a beautifully furnished apartment in which a voluptuous brunette sits tied to a chair wearing only panties and a bra.  She manages to get to a phone and dials the local 911.  "Help me!", she implores the operator.  "I have been kidnapped."
The operator asks, "Where are you?"
"I do not know."
"Well, what can you see?"
"I have a great view of a lovely landscaped pool, numerous fine dining places,  a golf course and the Gulf of Thailand."
"Then you must be at Royal Pattaya Towers Condominium.  We will send help immediately."  To the rescue of the damsel in distress comes a handsome James Bond type who obviously expects some show of gratitude for his efforts.  Like I said, this is one of the best commercials I have seen.
Here in Pattaya, as in every beach town I have visited recently in Viet Nam, the majority of travellers are Russian.  One Russian I met explained to me  that they come from a very cold country and therefore they love to go where it is warm.  Almost all the signage here is in undeciperable Thai and almost equally puzzling Cyrillic.  Fortunately most of the menus have pictures.